9.20.2011

Ignorance is Bliss

America is known as the world’s melting pot. Races and cultures from a variety of corners of the world have made this country their home.
This is evident in the hallways of Cleveland State University.
Coming from a small school district, I was only accustomed to different cliques rather than cultures. Moving to the city was a new world for me.
On campus, the variance of races is clear.
In one place, you can find someone you went to elementary school with, a new friend from Nigeria, and gain a sorority sister from Honduras.
Diversity is prevalent in today’s modern world. We have the nation’s first president from African-American decent for example.
However, it’s not just race that makes this country diverse. It is each persons own culture. There are cultures from different nations, different sub-groups, and ones that emerge overnight.
Tuesday, the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policies of the American military were demolished. As well, many states are legalizing same-sex marriages.
Back to the smaller scale of CSU, different student organizations represent different cultures.
From Greek Life, Latinos Unidos, to the Origami Club, this campus is a melting pot on its own.
However, with diversity seemingly being accepted into our nation, it is shocking still for me to see such ignorance and hate.
To keep things on the small CSU scale, the other day I was in the Student Center working on an assignment for my Anthropology class, ironically. At the table next to me were a new freshman, Chris, and his friend who was from Africa.
I heard them bonding over their African roots, Chris’ father being from Africa as the girl was.
Their stories were those you hear in missions letters but never expect in real life. The girl’s family was well off in their country. Her parents predominantly known and she attended the best school offered. They sent her to the states in hopes for a better education and a broader spectrum of possibilities, trying to not limit her future.
Chris has hopes of becoming a doctor, like his father. He wants to go back to Africa and help those who cannot afford a doctors visit.
This was not only inspiring but also interesting to hear.
Every parade has a rain cloud though.
A woman came over, sat on the other side of the two students, and made a snide remark toward them. Let me mention, this woman was also of African American decent.
At this point, I just put my headphones back in and tried to return to my studies.
I saw from the corner of my eye the woman’s arms flailing and began to hear her voice over Kanye West. I had no idea what was going on.
The last words I heard from the rain cloud in the Student Center was that the girl Chris had been talking to was a disgrace to the whole African culture with her hair, needed to go back to where she came from, had no right to be in America, and is brave for leaving the house in the outfit she was wearing.
Did that actually happen?
Sitting next to me was an educated, put together, beautiful, strong woman. Not what ever it was this woman had seen.
Nevertheless, she walked away after making her final statement only to turn right around 3-feet in front of me. The yelling continued. I was now involved.
Trying to study, and not being one to hide my emotions well, the woman noticed I was bothered by her early morning rants. She approached, rather charged at, me.
Her basic points were that since I was white I was trying to oppress her; I was an ignorant child with no education, and a racist for even looking at her. She questioned, “Who do you think you are?” repeatedly to me.
My response was simple. I told her I was a fellow CSU student trying to get my studies done. I told her I did not want to be disturbed and whatever problem she had with the students next to me did not need to involve the entire second floor.
I was then called ghetto and she walked away.
This woman may have been under the influence or she may have just been ignorant.
I was shocked by this whole situation.
As far as this nation has come, ignorance like this still exists. After the fact, I realized I should not be as shocked though.
Bi-racial, as well as homosexual, relationships are still looked at as taboo.
Women are still treated inferior toward men.
The problems we as a nation have attempted to fix for centuries, still linger in present day.
It makes on wonder if anything can be done to have change and make it last. There has to be some way to abolish ignorance.
As a learned trait, it should not be as difficult.
For now, we will just deal with the rain clouds floating around the country.


NOW PLAYING: 40 BARS - NICKI MINAJ

It's Just Emotions Takin' Me Over...

Emotions inspire artwork.
Emotions inspire writings.
Emotions inspire everything.
Should we not be inspired everyday?
In my Specialized Writing class this morning we listened to everyone's different columns we turned in. I was suprised by some and not so much by others.
Nevertheless, it made me think.
Not of my writing skills nor that of others, but what all I could write about.
It doesn't always have to be perfect. It doesn't always have to be inspiring.
Make it relateable.
Make it consise.
Make it clear.
That's all. Keep it simple.
It's funny that I just realized this because that's how I keep everything, simple. Complexity is not a favorite of mine.
I need to keep that in mind. Maybe I should tattoo the word simple on my wrist. Just when I think things are overwhelming me, I'll look down, and remember to keep it simple.
If it's not going to cause me harm, it's not a matter of emergency.
If it's not going to interfere with my future, it's not of importance.
If it doesn't mess with my finances, it can wait.
Live for today with no worries for tomorrow.


NOW PLAYING: LIL WAYNE - MEGAMAN

9.13.2011

Make Damn Sure...

I sat in my bed staring at my last post, wondering if I should take it down. It was a post out of anger and hurt. It came from a place that often isn't shown. Not so much did I regret writing it, but I was not sure if it would be a good reflection on me.
I no longer feel that way, it was a temporary thing. But it was real and honest. Not anything I sat an thought about, or wrote it out and proof read it. It was raw emotion. I won't be taking it down.
It is in the past. Misunderstandings occur and you get over them. That's what happened.
Not often do I express those types of emotions.
Not often do I admit that I am wrong.
This is clearly a week of changes.



NOW PLAYING: Not A Thing, Sitting in my Early Morning Com Class

9.08.2011

"Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person."
 I've tried to be the bigger person. I've tried to fix things. I've reached out. I'm done.
To target one person and try to make them miserable is low.
Talking about being mature and happy does not make it true. Bringing people down to make you feel better about yourself is immature and shows some form of insecurity.
I could care less if someone doesn't like me, even if they don't have a reason.
But to attack me behind my back because you don't like me, or for whatever reason, is petty.
It could be called being bitchy. But that's not what it is.
Being bitchy would imply that I slept with your boyfriend, or tried to sabotage your chances at homecoming queen. You are a bully.
You bring others down to make sure you're still on top. But what exactly are you climbing?


NOW PLAYING - CHIODOS: INTENSITY IN TEN CITIES

9.07.2011

Tell Me What You Think About Being Honest...

"When people say 'Live life to the fullest,' it doesnt' necessarily mean go out party and be crazy. It can simply mean make the best out of each situation and see the greatness in what you have... see everything in it's full potential. Because life is pretty full as it it don't you think? Now all we gotta do is live it -- the best we can!"
I remember seeing this quote on Tumblr like a year ago. I love it!
Now I will admit, I party like the best of them. I'm in college and that's the atmosphere that I choose to surround myself in sometimes. But I'm beginning to grow out of that. Partying every night is not what life should max out to.
Note, I'm not down talking partying. You will probably see me intoxicated this weekend at some point. I'm simply stating not to make it a lifestyle.
If alcohol isn't present sometimes people won't show up. That's pathetic.
I've been looking back on my past a lot these past few days. Some of the best memories I have are ones I barely remember, as are some of the worst. Today I'm taking control.

NO! Again, I'm not stating I have a problem. I'm not stating I'm giving up the Bud Light (God no!). But I am saying my life is my life and others can merely observe.
It's time to make the best out of EVERY situation. The good, bad, sad, ugly, sloppy, whatever! Make that moment your best moment every day.
Someone is talking about you behind your back? That should be the highlight of your day.
You missed your bus and are going to be late for work? Celebrate.
Everything that happens is for some reason or purpose. Things do not just happen by chance.
This post seems a bit unlike my writing, it's a tad scattered. But that is just where my head is at now...

NOW PLAYING: BOSSY - KELIS

9.06.2011

When Re-runs All Become Our History...

Moving out of my parents house has been an ordeal since May.
In the last twenty years I have accumulated so much... stuff! I don't know what to do with it all nor do I have a place for it. It's a process.
Something urged me to swing by my parents house tonight. I had stopped by a friend's to pick up a concert ticket and just instinctively started driving towards Elyria.
My mother was home making banana bread and my father at a church meeting.
I went into my old room and began sorting through all my old belongings. I found a variety of mix Cd's, which have been surprisingly good so far, old journals, pictures from elementary school, piano books, and some pens my dog had been using for chew toys.
I've always expressed myself through writing and through music. Each mix Cd has a story to it. I listened to two of them heading back to Cleveland and so many memories came rushing back. The good, the bad, the stupid, the dramatic, all the memories.
One in particular I was looking for. The one that's been holding me back for years, and I found it. It was everywhere. In my music, in my writing, everywhere. It had to go.
I packed everything, including that memory, into my backpack and headed north.
I popped a Cd in titled, "Songs I Love, and Always Will."
I wasn't lying. In the thirty minutes it took me to get home I belted some Hillary Duff, cried to some worship, had a perfect day with Hoku, and got down with O-Town.
It was then I realized I needed to confront this memory head on, well to an extent.
I found my journal from 2008 and found the exact page. The page that I unleashed on. A page full of honesty, hurt, and smeared from countless tears. I tore it out. I read it about six or seven times.
Tears can not fall on that page any more. My eyes can never see it again. It's gone, as I pray the memory will be.
This memory will never be out of my life but it can stop overtaking my life.
I need to remember who I was before this memory. I need to be that girl again...


NOW PLAYING: DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL - HARD TO BREATHE